Vegas, baby!

Hail all. The des(s)ert nomad has returned from his wanderings. In addition to lost gold (I stink at slots), frankandernie (Avenue Q was excellent!), and Merv (well, no, I didn't see Merv Griffin, only John Fugelsang--the funniest, cutest VJ that VH1 ever employed), I bring you blurry photos and sardonic commentary from my recent sojourn to Sin City, U.S.A.

As our new best friends and economic rivals the Chinese have taught us, a picture is worth a thousand words--and, normally, I've got the wordprocessing skills and windbaggedness to prove it. Tonight, though, I want to keep this fairly short and moderately sweet, as I'm still suffering the effects of jet lag (plus, I want to catch the season one premier of Kath & Kim on the Sundance Channel). So I present you with one photograph that sums up the Las Vegas Experience for me.

For now, forget the Dale Chiluly glass sculptures and forgo the piquant humor of the Kinsey Sicks. Bypass the elegant gambling halls and say buh-bye to the Broadway-goes-Vegas spectaculars. Instead, concentrate on the message in the casino sign accompanying this post, which I spotted near Boulder City, Nevada, on the way back from a trip to Hoover Dam. That one picture speaks volumes--in flashing neon and blinking LEDs, no less--about Las Vegas.

One whole dollar just to defecate? A measly two dollars for someone to perform fellatio (or for our less sensitive viewers, a blowjob) upon one's person? As my friend the Gladman might say, "It's a world gone mad."

The Lost Wages of Sin--a city where the necessities are expensive but the sex is cheap. And in the latter case, let's pray that price is not indicative of quality.

Say amen to that.