Now where did I put that lightning rod?

Reported via MSNBC.com on Sunday, 29 July 2007:

"Man says lightning found him again"

A Pennsylvania man says he survived his second lightning strike Friday — 27 years to the day of his first — and emerged a bit shaken with only a burned zipper and a hole in the back of his jeans.

You can read the full article here.

Some things are better left unsaid, such as explicit references to high-fiber diets or easier, more Food and Drug Administration-approved methods of overcoming erectile dysfunction. Some things just stand up on their own (as it were) without any further encouragement or (no, really) comment.

But, honestly, do the gods atop Mount Olympus come up with this stuff just to drive me up a rock wall of crushing puns and jagged reflections? My pebble-sized brain aches from the smutty outcropping of possibilities. Oh, I so want to be good, but the world won't let me.

Funnily enough, the cartoon series Lil' Bush went out on a ledge with a similar gag in a recent episode. Lil' Barack Obama explains to Lil' George that there are ghosts in the White House attic, including one of Benjamin Franklin, who was killed while trying to discover an early form of Viagra involving lightning, a kite, and a key on a string.

Again, some things are better left to the imagination . . . or Comedy Central . . . or wire service reporters with a penchant for hey!-lookit!-another-stupid-human-trick! details.