Monday, May 26, 2008

Remember when

Guess what? Despite the title, this isn't another nostalgic post about the merits of classic car ownership. Shocking, I know.

Instead, I'm going to go all serious on you for a moment and remind you that today is Memorial Day in the United States, a day which we have set aside to commemorate those who died while serving in our nation's armed forces.

Granted, nowadays, when we think of the official reason for Memorial Day (if we think of it at all), we view it as a time to commemorate all those who serve or have served in the military. More likely, though, we think of it as the unofficial beginning of the summer season, a great time for shopping and barbecues, a good excuse for a long weekend in ever stingy-with-the-vacation corporate-cultured America, or even the day upon which the Indianapolis 500 takes place. But enough with the cars already.

According to Wikipedia, still my source for all wisdom, Memorial Day was initially begun as Decoration Day, a day set aside to pay tribute, remember, and memorialize those Union soldiers who perished during the American Civil War. Later it was expanded to include all soldiers--men and women--who died in service to their country. However, as there is still a Confederate Memorial Day on the books in some states (I'm not naming names . . .), I'm guessing Memorial Day doesn't necessarily include in the list of honorees those who died in service against their country.

(Editor's note: Oh dear, I've perhaps lived too long above the Mason-Dixon Line. Still, I have seen Confederate flags placed on the graves of fallen Southern soldiers on Memorial Day, at least in Virginia, so perhaps finally we've all moved on.)

Anyway, I think Memorial Day is especially poignant this year. Whether rightly or wrongly, we are a nation at war, in Iraq specifically and somewhat in Afghanistan as well. Despite our best efforts at national distraction (Hillary vs. Barack! Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! What was Britney/Lindsay/Paris/ Nicole/et al. thinking?!), it is a cold, hard reality difficult to ignore. No matter where you stand on the decision to go to war and on the outcomes of that decision, it is where we are at the moment--and for the immediate future.

I think, too, this Memorial Day is particularly sensitive for me because I keep thinking about my Dad, who passed away more than a year ago. He served proudly in the U.S. Marine Corps for some 30 years but personified the motto, "Once a Marine, always a Marine."
He carried the responsibility, discipline, and camaraderie of being a Marine with him throughout his life.

Even in his later years, when he was suffering from Alzheimer's, I can remember being on a visit with him and my Mom to Bandera, Texas, in 2003 or so, and watching his face light up when he overheard a fellow Marine talk about being stationed at Camp LeJeune, where he served in military and civilian posts for many years. Even then, he was able to converse with this comrade-in-arms about their shared experiences as soldiers. Despite his illness, I think some of his strongest remaining memories were positive ones from his time as a soldier in World War II and post-war China.

Frankly, I can't even remember where I was or what I was doing last Memorial Day. In fact, much of last year is a blur at this point, in part because of job change and moving. However, more than anything, things are hazy from last year because I spent most of the year being numb from his rather sudden death.

I've been less numb over the last couple of months, which is both good and bad. Good, if you can call it that, to finally start feeling his loss; bad, if you can call it that, because it comes out at completely unexpected times and sometimes in completely unexpected ways. I can't listen to the song "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel, a favorite of mine, without becoming upset because it reminds me of an ordinary day in the 1970s when my Dad picked me up at school and that song happened to be on the radio. I can't pass a field or a wood and see the new spring growth without feeling emotional--all that newness and beauty, it just makes my soul ache. And little hassles and really stupid things that people say or do, tick me off rather quickly and deeply, much more so than before. I've never been one to suffer fools easily (including my own foolish self), but this past year has been exceptionally challenging.

Nonetheless, Memorial Day isn't all about me.

Instead, for a complete change of pace, I'm trying to think of others and of ways I can make a contribution, however small, to provide comfort to those who are enduring a particularly grueling task in our name. It is cliché to say perhaps, but whether you're for, against, or debilitated from all feeling about the war, we can at least agree (I hope) that those who serve deserve our support.

Support takes many different forms. Maybe for you it is a protest march against the war or a heated discussion with friends and family about its continued existence. Maybe for you it involves displaying an American flag at the front of your house, tying a yellow ribbon around an oak tree, or supporting "the surge" as a way to get the job done and bring home the troops as soon as possible. So be it. Whatever it takes--as long as you can look yourself in the mirror and know that your sincere intent is to honor the troops, their families, and friends, as well as the people of Iraq and Afghanistan. If you're thinking first and foremost what would be best for all of them, and not trying to promote your own pro- or anti-war agenda, then go forward and prosper. I have no argument with you.

But why not put your money where your dissenting opinions and patriotic gestures are? Why not show some love and share some humanity through a donation to a charitable organization that offers support and comfort to soldiers and their loved ones?

I'm by no means an authority on where to go to do this, but I can at least tell you about a few organizations I've become familiar with over the last couple of months. Maybe one of those is the right place for you to share some time, money, or other resources to make things a little better for everyone. Caveat: I know enough about these organizations to be dangerous, but from the outside looking in, they do seem to have their hearts and heads in the right places.
  • Knitting for charity--I recently was fortunate enough to visit the National Museum of the Marine Corps in Quantico, Virginia. The day I visited, there was a group from a local charity knitting helmet liners and other useful clothing for soldiers. Why I didn't take down the name of the charity, I don't know. However, this article from About.com lists some of the major U.S. organizations that accept knitting for charity, including Operation Homefront.
  • Books for Soldiers--This seems like a great idea, especially since they encourage you to donate books and other media that soldiers actually want, rather than letting you send any ol' thing. The one complication, though, is that they want you to fill out an application and have it notarized before you start sending materials. Seems like an unnecessary extra step, but I'm sure they have their reasons. Anyway, if that's too onerous, you can also make financial contributions to their operations.
  • Tunes 4 the Troops--This organization was recently featured as part of the "Heroes" series on CNN, an increasingly useless source for information on practically every topic. Still, I found the story behind this organization impressive. Clearly, sharing music with others is something I'm committed to, if recent postings in this blog offer any evidence. Granted, some of the tunes I would send along might not help a soldier (for example, does a U.S. soldier really need the entire back catalog of the Spice Girls? don't ask, don't tell . . .), but it is a neat idea, and one that would be easy to assist with.
  • The USO--The USO has been providing support, comfort, and recreational opportunities for soldiers for nearly 70 years. You can contribute to their efforts by offering your money or your time.
I'm sure there are others that are equally worthwhile. If you have a favorite, please leave a comment or drop me an email, so the news can be shared with others.

In the meantime, no matter where you stand on the political spectrum, for just today, perhaps we can take a moment to remember our service men and women, past and present. More importantly, in the year ahead, perhaps we can take some time from our busy lives to do something positive for the benefit of our troops.

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