The dream season

When I'm at a loss for words, I let TV do the talking for me:


All I can say is that I was so happy to wake up this morning and not find Bobby Ewing in my shower.

At the same time, it is rather nice to pull myself out of a bad dream and discover the political equivalent of a naked Patrick Duffy in my bedroom, giving me a wet hug.

Ah, a boy can dream . . .

Fearless

I guess now there's no need for me to finish my piece, "Why I'm voting for Barack Obama; why I'm not voting for John McCain," a post that I've been working on, at least in my head, since mid-summer.

Wow. I am almost speechless. I certainly better understand the phrase "shock and awe" now. Barack Obama is projected to be the next president of the United States. Did any of us ever think we would live to see this night?

I don't say that for just the obvious reason, the one cited in heavy rotation on MSNBC at the moment, that Barack Obama, an African-American man, a biracial man, a child of at least one immigrant parent, a child of, in effect, a single mother, a man with the middle name Hussein, a man whose last name isn't English, Irish, Scottish, or ol' New York Knickerbocker (Roosevelt, Van Buren . . .), "that one," if you will, has, despite all odds and all prejudices, become president of the United States.

That in and of itself is a huge story. It's as if finally after 8 years, or maybe even 50 years, or maybe even 150 years, America has stepped into the present as well as into its own future. Welcome to the 21st century and beyond, folks. After so many delays, after so many mistakes and missteps, we are finally here, and it feels so very good.

But there's at least one more story out there that's worth telling before I head off to bed. And that is that today, the U.S. electorate, at least a good portion of it, chose intellect and reason over fear and demagoguery, something it hasn't done for a long time. No amount of bandying about terms like "terrorist," "socialist," "secret Muslim," "elitist," "real American," "Marxist," or "dictator" seemed to knock us off course from turning out the old and backward-looking and embracing the new and forward-thinking.

There's a line from the Pedro Almodóvar movie, Carne Trémula (Live Flesh), that is rather apt for this moment in time. "And that was the day the people of Spain decided they wouldn't be afraid anymore." Or something like that.

The story around Live Flesh takes place in different time periods, but one of the themes is the changes wrought in Spanish society from the repressive Franco era, to the immediate post-Franco era (kind of like our '60s excesses but with even more chemical substances, apparently), to a more moderate, contemporary time, when people make decisions based on what's best for them and those around them, rather than what they feel forced to do or are too scared not to do. I think you could show the scenes from Grant Park in Chicago tonight, or just about anywhere in America for that matter, read that line over the scene, and it would fit.

Is this that day, the day we no longer choose to be afraid? Good god, I hope so. I can't tell you how many years I've had that line in my head. I can't tell you how many times I repeated it to myself, my silent mantra, this election season.

The other thing on my mind tonight--and there are, admittedly, a zillion things running through my brain at the moment, making me wonder whether I'll be able to sleep at all tonight--the one that rises to the surface and stays afloat, is a statement made just a little while ago by political reporter David Gregory on MSNBC. (By the way, is there an island where mad scientists make boyish-looking, prematurely graying news reporters for the American networks? And do they take special orders?) He said something to the effect that he's 38 years old, that fellow commentator Rachel Maddow is even younger, and that the both of them didn't quite get the fuss over the U.S. electing its first African-American president. Or, rather, they could see it was a big deal, but they didn't feel it in the same way that perhaps their over-45-year-old colleagues did. As David Gregory put it, "We just see Obama as a qualified candidate, a man running for president."

I think that's wonderful, and I'm glad to see that has come about, even if I fall into the old guard, over-45 camp, and I will spend a few hours resenting the young whipper-snappers just a few years younger than me who are living a very different life than mine. Nonetheless, while that statement makes me feel my age, I can live with that feeling, as long as it it means those younger than me get a chance at a better world. Wow again. I must be feeling pretty hopeful and upbeat tonight if I'm well-wishing the under-40 crowd.

However, Mr. Gregory's observation makes me want to underscore one additional point, and that is this: That this under-40 worldview, that Barack Obama is just another man, a very qualified and successful one, but nonetheless, one of flesh and blood and bone like the rest of us, is a direct result of government intervention in our lives, of government working in tandem with people to make things better for all.

Government didn't always step aside and let "the market" deal with racism and inequality, at least before 1980 or so. Government didn't always shrug its shoulders and turn its attention to working out a better deal on home mortgages or let the insurance industry have a free reign in screwing people over. Government didn't always say, "Hey, it's OK to be selfish! I've got mine, and you'll have to get yours somehow by pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, and if you don't have your own bootstraps, well whose fault is that? We're all created equal, after all." Government didn't always say, "I can't deal with the economic and social problems of this country because a very squeaky, intractable, and vituperative political wheel doesn't want me to because they feel it goes against their belief system."

Well, OK, government did say those things some of the time; it did do some of those things a lot of the time. In recent history, over the years, and long ago. But it hasn't always been like this. Sometimes government actually stepped in and attempted to address the issues and redress the wrongs. It fought a war, it emancipated the slaves, it gave 40 acres and a mule, it passed civil rights legislation, it challenged segregation, it forced busing, it sent in troops, it funded public welfare programs, it supported affirmative action, and it stepped up and defended those who could not defend themselves.

It did some things good and some things bad, and we have a legacy, both good and bad, to show for it. But the point is it eventually (if not consistently or even always effectively) took action for the people. It saw the bigger picture, it understood its role, and it effected some pretty powerful changes that only now, 30, 40, 50 years later, are fully playing themselves out.

So for all of you who fear the return of "big government," a couple of pointers for survival in this new era. First, read Barack Obama's book, The Audacity of Hope, in which he talks about this very thing, making government work for the people (it's very purpose in the first place!) but not giving a totally free reign to the market or, in the reverse, creating a dependency class, hooked on entitlement programs and handouts. There's a third way in most things, a "both/and," as opposed to a rigid "either/or." We've had years of either/or, and you see how brilliantly that's turned out. Now's the time to try something new. Given some time, I think you might find that you enjoy life in the both/and zone.

Second, Barack Obama is not a secret Muslim. He's not a dictator. He's not going to suddenly drop the mask to reveal some hideous visage under his human form. The Kool-Aid isn't suddenly going to wear off, and we'll all be left dealing with a horrible hangover. Many of those who supported him didn't drink any in the first place! Instead, we saw an intelligent, motivated leader who could help us--all of us!--find our way back to being our better selves.

So stop being stupid--this isn't some bad plot twist in V, for god's sake. This is America. If you truly love it the way you say you do, you'll give us all a little credit for knowing our own minds, and you'll give this new administration, this new era, a fighting chance.

And third, stop being afraid. Of government. Of people who are different. Of life. Government can do wonders for us when properly carried out. Different people bring different perspectives to the table, often very good ones. And dammit, just get out and live life the way it should be lived--fully, unselfishly, joyously, and fearlessly.

As the ol' saying goes, the only thing we really have to fear is fear itself. And marvel at this: A populist, effective, activist political leader, who led the nation through a time of economic turmoil and social upheaval, who saw government as an agent of positive, inclusive change--of all people--was the one to say it. (Yes, yes, I know he was a Democrat, but that's not really the point.)

Maybe just maybe history is on the verge of repeating itself. In a good way. For a change.

Oh-bomb-uh

Before we head too far down the overgrown path of my psycho-sexual (emphasis on psycho, definitely not on sexual) life, let's recap for a moment (and analyze ad nauseam) that very American, summertime reality show, The Race for the White House.

And what a jaw-dropping, mind-boggling, space-time-continuum-imploding series of episodes we sat through this week!

We saw the first African-American man nominated for president by a major party. We witnessed a Kennedy (Teddy, to be specific) rise from the dead (rather than leaving someone for dead) to inflict his has-been family's legacy upon the Democrats once more. Next up, we beheld the Republicans make a bold move and nominate their first female vice president--none other than Designing Women's Suzanne Sugarbaker. (Former beauty queen, fond of guns and right-wing politics--all that's missing is the pet pig and Consuela the maid. You tell me the difference.)

And, finally, we saw the nation's first major-party presidential candidate make an equally bold move by doing the exact opposite of all popular expectation--ignoring his experienced, well-known female opponent and choosing instead as his running mate the most boring, ineffectual white guy in American politics (after Joe Lieberman), none other than the Delaware (Dream) Destroyer, Joe Biden.

Wow! The Nielsen's must be through the stratosphere.

I won't even attempt to cover all these topics in this one posting--there aren't enough bytes in the universe, and my attention span isn't that good to begin with. So I will instead just try to focus on one (or two) topics at a time, leaving further snide comments about those damned Kennedys and Miss Half-Baked Alaska 1977 for another day, another entry.

* * *

To say I was majorly underwhelmed and grandly disappointed by Barack Obama's choice for vice president doesn't even begin to explain the depths of depression I experienced upon hearing the news while visiting family on the Cote d'Kansas last weekend. For you see, I fear that this choice for veep was a fatal mistake, that by ignoring Hillary Clinton's supporters in favor of the same ol' same ol'--an old-line, ineffectual, establishment white guy from the Northeast, Barack and Company have just cost the Democrats the election in the fall.

I hope I'm wrong. After all, my track record at picking presidents is spotty at best, famously thinking that Mondale stood a chance of beating Reagan in 1984. However, I can't help but think that in one amazingly bone-headed move, the Candidate for Change and the fresh-from-life support Democratic Party just did a political 180, reverting to type, sticking with the tried and the torpid, and have thus ruined for all of us any chance at a speedy retreat from Iraq, the provision of universal healthcare, the development of a decent social safety net, and an earnest focus on global warming and alternate sources of energy.

Moreover, I am concerned that the Democrats, through their amazing ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at every turn, have resigned us all to more greed, more social conservatism, more polarizing national discourse, and perhaps worst of all, the sort of Ice Princess glamour that can only be proffered by a beer-distributing heiress from Arizona.

I think the Dems owe us all big time for these indignities. They not only ruined our weekend; they may well have sacrificed our lamby little lives for at least another four to eight years.

* * *

Unfortunately, it was never as simple as choosing Hillary for V.P.--although perhaps it should have been. It was a lengthy, hard-fought, and somewhat nasty battle through the primaries, and perhaps those wounds, mistrusts, and jealousies don't heal easily, even (or especially) among the Statecraft Class. Plus there is so much baggage with the Clintons, as big-mouthed Bill Clinton seemed to want to remind us of at every turn, despite his wife's and the country's best interests otherwise.

Still, if you can't let bygones be bygones within your own party, how they heck are you going to make peace in the Middle East?

But American Tourister aside, 18 million votes and a delegate count that was on par with or (with Michigan and Florida in full and fair play) exceeded that of Obama's should have been extremely hard--if not, what? illegal? unethical? impractical?--to ignore.

Yet ignored it was. In favor of . . . Joe Biden, of all things. The beige carpeting, pressed wood paneling, and dingy Laz-e-boy recliner in the national basement rumpus room known as the U.S. Senate. What a world, what a freakin' world.

While in some corners, Obama is widely derided for being a good speechmaker and little else, I think the power of making a good speech--that is, empowering people through leadership--should not be so easily dismissed. Still, in practical terms, he does lack a great deal of national and international experience. (He's only a year older than I am, after all, and I have enough trouble figuring out international electrical currents and small appliance plugs.) It's a fair complaint, and, all in all, I'd feel more comfortable with him if he'd done a Hillary and not a John Edwards and bothered to finish out one or two terms in the Senate, rather than using the first term as a launchpad for national and international stardom.

Granted, the critique of experience is unevenly applied. Bill Clinton had little national or international experience prior to becoming president, as most certainly did George Dubya--although, admittedly, summoning the specter of the Doofus of the Century is hardly a pro statement in favor of winging it and learning on the job.

So I understand the necessity for Joe Biden, as opposed to, say, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius--a savvy politico but one without national recognition (yet)--but I can't get excited over the prospects of a Joe Biden anywhere near the White House either. What does Biden bring to the table other than a too many years of service in the same job? Three electoral votes from Delaware? Wouldn't those have more than likely gone to Obama anyway? Old-line liberal Dem voters from the East and Midwest? Again, likely to support Obama regardless. Women voters? Western and Southern voters? Bitter, working-class Pennsylvania voters? Not bloody likely on any of the three counts.

And exactly what experience, what accomplishments, does ol' Non-Smokin' Joe bring to the table? Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock--time's up! Exactly. As last Sunday's political pundits waxed on about the Joe-you-don't-know, regaling us with tales of his Pennsylvania roots, the death of his first wife and child, and his daily rail commute from his home in Delaware to Washington, D.C., all I could focus on was this--if Ol' Joe is so effective a leader in the Senate, then why, after nearly four decades of commuting via Amtrak, is Amtrak such a steaming pile of caca as a national transportation system?

Thus, without a bold move--like selecting Hillary Clinton for veep, or maybe someone like Madeleine Albright (part of the Clinton legacy but not one necessarily tainted or ruined by it)--one that takes into account the more conservative nature of this nation (and I'm not sure selecting Hillary would have done that), the political disenfranchisement that I know many outside the Northeast feel (and I'm not convinced selecting Madeleine Albright would have accomplished that either but a Kathleen Sebelius or Janet Napolitano might), and one that recognizes the strongly motivated faction that Hillary represents--I'm just not sure November will bring about the changes that we all say we crave and which, whether we realize it or not, we desperately need.

* * *

Just because I have been massively depressed over the prospect of the likes of Joe Biden one heartbeat away from the presidency, doesn't mean that my family and I haven't been able to find some humor in these happenings. It is indeed a case of should we laugh or cry? I've attempted to do the former, at least a little, even though I really have wanted to do the latter to anyone who will listen.

Lucky you.

The first funny for me was the acclaim that Joe Biden's nomination seemed to engender among the news media--with the lone exception of a reporter from the San Francisco Chronicle who flatly stated, "Joe Biden came in fifth in Iowa--how is this going to help anyone?"

Honestly, who knew people in San Francisco were that aware?

From the pro-Biden-nomination camp, my favorite accolade came from CNN's Candy Crowley, who remarked that Biden was an excellent choice because he is "beloved" by Pennsylvanians, apparently because he hails from Scranton and lived there until he was aged 10 or so.

Ah, Scranton. The Dunder-Mifflin of American cities.

So I guess your argument is as goes Pennsylvania, so goes the nation? Oh, Candy, be careful what you wish for.

Look, I know we Pennsylvanians are 10 million strong--and there must be at least double that number that fled the state and reside elsewhere now, chiefly in Florida. Nevertheless, I kinda don't think the Keystone State represents the national zeitgeist. Maybe the Northeast and Midwest zeitgeist (maybe), but there are several million more people and 30 or more states scattered around this country. Being that most Americans outside of Pennsylvania still envision our Commonwealth as a decaying, industrial rustbucket with miserable weather (none of which is really true anymore, at least, in the case of the former, if you don't leave Pittsburgh's East End or stick to Philadelphia's Main Line, and at least, in the case of the latter, for six months out of the year), I can't trust that the rest of America is in sync with this particular state of independence.

And if it is, then as a nation, we're all far worse off than we ever imagined.

Furthermore, regarding the "native son" factor, I can truthfully say that in my four years living in Pennsylvania, I've never once heard anyone mention Joe Biden's name, let alone tell me how much they love him. Hell, no one even talks about Snarlin' Arlen Specter, and he's been one of our U.S. senators since at least before Cher's first farewell tour.

Governor (and heavyweight Hillary supporter) Ed Rendell, check. Senator (and middleweight Barack supporter) Bob Casey, check. Even that right-wing asswipe, former Senator Rick Santorum, check. All mentioned.

But Joe Freakin' Biden? Un-unh.

Still, that "beloved by Pennsylvanians" comment struck me funny and rather inspired me to think about the ways that Pennsylvanians might have paid homage to Joe Biden, if only they'd remembered him from the ten years that he lived in state.

For example . . .

• Being that it takes less than 6 hours to drive from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia but nearly 9 hours to travel via Amtrak the same distance--which you can do only twice a day in either direction--the Keystone Limited could be renamed the "Biden Our Time." Very Limited.

• Or if Joe decided to drive the distance in one of his many motor tours of the Commonwealth, apple-cheeked residents bedecked in our traditional state costumes of lederhosen and dirndl skirts might shower his limousine with freshly made scrapple and pierogies as he wends his way along the Pennsylvania Turnpike. (Scrapple in the east, pierogies in the west, maybe some chicken-and-waffles in between.)
  

• Or perhaps up in State College, once the snowpack melts, it could finally be revealed that Joe's visage had been carved into the face of Mount Nittany.

• Or possibly birds on their migrations north and south could spontaneously fly in formation, organizing themselves into a flight pattern resembling Joe's profile, the whole while vowing not to crap all over the countryside, at least until they made it as far as New York or Maryland.

• Or maybe here in Pittsburgh, they could resurrect plans to construct the Colossus of Steeltown--the oft-delayed, 1,000-foot high, fully nude sculpture of our beloved Joe straddling the confluence of the Three Rivers. Patterned after one of Jean-Claude Van Damme's famed mid-air splits, Joe's left leg could stretch to Mount Washington, his right to the top of Heinz Field, and his rather optimistically endowed nether regions cast a shadow somewhere over Point Park. Triple X marks the spot.
  

What? Too much? Not enough?

Hey, it's this or I tell you how my Mom, sis, and brother spent the weekend comparing the current crop of presidential and vice presidential contenders to regular cast members and bit players on The Andy Griffith Show.

In short, we concluded that Joe Biden was either dull-as-dishwater civil servant Howard Sprague or possibly community goofball Floyd the Barber. We were more sure about John McCain, who is most definitely inveterate rock-thrower Ernest T. Bass at the moment when Andy and Barney tried to clean up his act and make him presentable to Mayberry society. Suit, tie, improved diction, but still, it didn't take, and he was back to throwing rocks by the end of the episode.

We drew the line, though, when a friend of the family suggested that George Bush was best represented by town drunk, Otis Campbell. We thought that was too extreme a critique--the comparison defames town drunks everywhere.

Obama for precedent: The prelude

Watch this space. It's coming . . .

I just didn't want anyone to think I was playing favorites. I'll get to Obama. All in good time.