Saturday, March 27, 2010

Cantorankerous


I'm just a guy who can't say no . . . to a photo op!

* * *

Oh no! Someone's done got mad and shat . . . erm, shot at Congressman Eric Cantor's office in Richmond, Virginy. Who would do such a thang? Why he's the nicest, friendliest, kindest, most pleasantest feller around . . .

*gggggggaggggggggg*

Oh, sorry, choking on my own vomit there for a sec.

But, come on, really, who didn't see this coming? These threats against elected officials in a highly polarized, emotional political and social climate. Frankly, I'm surprised that worse hasn't happened so far--that is, something worse than being spat on or being called a racial or sexual epithet, which we've had plenty of lately.

And, frankly, I'm surprised worse hasn't befallen a Republican by now. Eric Cantor has proven himself to be a Level 1 a-hole, snarkier-than-thou--almost as snarky as John Boehner and Mitch McConnell combined--and quick with the petulant, insincere cri-de-coeur at every photo op or press conference.

Of course, it doesn't just come down to Eric Cantor, Virginia-R(ighteous Putz). He's just one of the many players in a very public performance of Birth of a Venal Nation: Demagoguery in White Sheets, brought to you by the Republican Party--plus the letters F, U, and U, S, of A. All filmed in glorious Tunnelvision by Fox News. The latter has done an especially impressive job managing the crowd scenes, featuring hundreds and hundreds of extras from the Tea Party Dance Troupe, the John Birch Theatrical Society, the Ron Paulettes, and the Lyndon LaRouchebags.

It's been out of hand for months, years even. From Bill Clinton onwards and maybe before--although while a group of us never liked nor trusted Reagan, and there were definitely protests, I don't recall a bunch of self-anointed "patriots" showing up at rallies menacing people with weaponry or threatening to water the tree of liberty with the blood of Ed Meese.

From what I recall from those days, the most high-tech the weaponry got was a loose Birkenstock or Doc Martens, which the wearer no doubt tripped on while running from the protest line.

I had hoped all this angry insanity would die down after the 2008 election, when there was a clear winner and a clear loser. But the clear loser turned out to be an especially sore one. Maybe the party-that's-really-noisy-but-not-much-fun, gave the new president a couple of months before they started their next election campaign. Agreed, though, this is more time than some of the liber-azzi (rhymes with Liberace!) gave Obama before they started talking about a "failed" (in their eyes only) presidency.

But, over the last year, this domestic dissent has only escalated, in- and outside of the Capitol. Some of it, I suspect, is just generalized whining and whimpering during an especially rough economic period, one that settled in well before January 21, 2009, but one that hasn't vacated the premises as quickly as the former president did. Social strife is to be expected when people are hurting and remedies aren't as forthcoming as we would all like. It's probably worse here than elsewhere in the developed world due to our full-of-holes social safety net.

Please note, I'm not making light of people's suffering, or fun of it either. From my limited experience being unemployed, all I can do is imagine. But I think it would be fair to say that the hysterical protests against health insurance reform and deficit spending--two actions designed to help alleviate hardship both in the long- and short-term--seem, hmmm, well, let's say misguided and counter-intuitive. I'm just not convinced that you'd think your government was doing much good by you if it stood idly by while you lived out your fantasia on the theme of individual responsibility and bootstraps, either.

However, the anger and drama have gone beyond the I'm-hungry-tired-and-cranky stage. Well beyond that. To a positively scary place, full of mobs and hate speech; crude, racist iconography; antique talk of "states' rights," secessionism, and "redistribution of wealth" (code for "I'm selfish and hate anyone who's worse off or better off than me"); and now, incrementally, violence.

I half-expect John McCain to cane an opponent on the floor of the Senate any day now. I wouldn't blink an eye if Texas Governor Rick "Good Hair" Perry fired on Fort Sam Houston. And, sadly, I fully expect there will be an incident of serious domestic terrorism before it's all over with.

So I agree with Eric Cantor--this has to stop now, before someone gets seriously hurt.

Funny, Eric, that this should upset you now that it's happening to you and not your colleagues . . . but, oh, let's not be cynical.

Fomenting a polarized, hostile social and political climate should indeed stop. I for one would fully support Mr. Cantor's call for members of both parties to work together, showing respect and decorum toward one another--not to mention toward those whom you allegedly serve.

Perhaps then, you could get back to your raison d'être for being in Washington--addressing the myriad of social, economic, and security issues confronting our country.

Heck, here's a topical thought--and a freebie: You might even start with working toward better gun control . . .

You're welcome.

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